Damn technology! Damn it all to hell!
How is it, that a cold, hard plastic box can cause such an array of feelings in a person? Happiness at the funny joke your brother emailed you, anger at the breaking news stories of fresh murders and violence, relief at paying your e-bills just in time to avoid late fees, and enevitably pain and sadness when your online friends and family are suffering.
I am blessed to have a very large network of friends I've met through the internet, be it through MSN mommy groups, chatrooms, or even blogging. Sometimes just reading about someone for an extended period of time, makes you feel as though you truly know them. Their happiness and triumphs bring a smile to your face, their anger and frustrations irritate you equally and, as I've come to find out, their pain and sadness have a way of leaking out through the computer monitor and causing feelings of melancholy to take over.
The Good Husband is on his way out the door. He is hurt, wounded, and laying it out for all to see. The honesty in his words, the crystal clear description of his thoughts and his situation is overwhelming, the poetry of his words haunting.
I feel like I'm watching a movie and feel compelled to scream up at the screen for the characters to fix everything, to give us the happy ending that we all long to see. It can't end this way, can it? Tell me its not true.
Today I read his first post on his new blog, and then his last current post on his old blog. I wept through both. Maybe its hormones, maybe its the gloomy weather, maybe its the link I feel to him, but every line made me hurt more.
I wonder how his wife would feel, had she read his blog. If she saw the tremendous love he was constantly describing for her, if she had any clue how much her actions affected him, if she knew how much she hurt him, would this still be happening?
This sucks. I'm sorry you're going through this, Chris. We'll always have that night at the hotel though.
Go give Chris some happy thoughts and well wishes.