Edumacation from Denise
Ahhh, Denise. A lovely, dear, if not ridiculously innocent, friend of mine for over fifteen years. One would think that perhaps just a bit of me would have rubbed off on her by now, but alas, she amazes me with her sexual callowness regularly.
A conversation from this weekend:
Denise: Have you ever heard of Howard Stern? Hes some sort of radio host guy...
Me: I think I may have heard of him. Why do you ask? (trying not to laugh and terribly curious at whats to come next)
Denise: Well.......(loooong drawn out pause followed by a deep breath) Dave was flipping channels the other day, and hes got this tv show of his radio broadcast. Anyway, he was asking this girl if....*whispering* if she shaved completely.
Denise: Well he didn't mean her legs and pits.
Me: (trying not to laugh)
Denise: Dave said that he meant he was asking if she shaved *whispering* her entire bikini area, if you know what I mean.
Me: Thats kind of a personal question, huh?
Denise: Have you ever heard of such a thing?! Oh my God! I almost fainted when Dave told me that. I think he might have just made that up.
Me: Its pretty common, sweetie.
Denise: I can't believe people would do that! Why do you know about it? Thats perverted! Eww! I don't even want to think about it. Sounds like something pedophiles would do. Yuck. I couldn't believe it when he told me that.
Me: (deciding not to ever divulge to her that I've been bare for years) I guess some people just like to do that. I don't think its perverted. Just personal preference.
Denise: Thats how people get diseases!
Denise: You just shouldn't do that.
Me: Shaving has nothing to do with diseases.
Denise: Lets change the subject. I feel nauseas just thinking about it.
Me: (rolling eyes)
Fifteen years of this. I deserve a medal.