Shades of red

Are women allowed to get pissed about not getting sex? Its certainly not Stepford, is it? I feel small and petty about being pissed. At the same time, I'm so angry I feel I could cry. Thats definetly a womanly thing to say. So angry I could cry. But its true. I would feel better if I screamed. But my neighbors wouldn't. *sigh* Okay, get ready for the rant, because I feel it coming.

I wear ear plugs to bed. Did you know that? Of course not. I wear ear plugs because Rick snores, and I find myself completely unable to sleep with the loud inconsistant racket beside me. Anyway, I told you that to tell you this:

I wake up to a slight swaying movement of the bed that puts just enough pressure on my full bladder to make me uncomfortable. In my groggy sleepiness, I wonder what it may be. Am I imagining it? No, its a small movement, but the bed is definetly moving. With ear plugs in my ears, I strain for hints of noise, telling me whats going on. No such luck. Suddenly it comes to me. As the bed rhythmically moves, I think it must be Rick jerking off. Fucking bastard! I'm not facing him, so I grab my pillow and roll over, my swift movement quickly met by his own, suddenly turning his back to me. I was right. I must have been, yes? Hes been putting off sex with me, so he can whack off in the middle of the night?! I'm angry, but the swaying of the bed and the pressure it put on my bladder was too much, so I find myself jumping up to use the bathroom, being quick about it so he doesn't have a chance to 'finish off'.

Once I climb back into bed, I wrap my arm around his waist. His quiet breathing tells me hes not sleeping. I lower my hand, finding his dick, still somewhat hard, balls tight. Well, if hes horny, I tell myself, then why don't we fuck? My hand caresses him, and he rolls onto his back. This must be a good sign! Without a second thought, I begin to suck his dick, expecting full appreciation from him, his hand touching me to let me know he likes it, or even a moan or two. Nothing. He plays the part of a corpse lying before me. His dick lacks the usual salute from my oral talents. I hear him make a sound. "Are you asleep?" I ask him. "No." He replies. I continue to suck him, with little response. Frustrated, I think, I'll climb on top of him. That should do the trick. As I get on my knees, I lean up close to him for a kiss, my breasts brushing against his chest. I get a cold, closed mouth kiss. "Whats wrong?", I ask. "Nothing," he answers.

I'm horny as all hell, having been neglected for far too long. I so desperatly want to be with my husband. To feel close to him. To connect. To fuck, for crying out loud! Annoyed at his low response to my touch, I lay down next to him. "*sigh* Sorry I bothered you," I say, hoping for him to pull me on top of him, impaling me on his cock. He laughs. He fucking laughs. Now I'm pissed. You couldn't tell could you? Thats why I specified. Here I am blowing his dick, wanting to randomly fuck him in the middle of the night, and he is laughing me off.

He must have come already, when he was jerking off, I think to myself. Fucking bastard. Selfish jerk. I briefly think of masturbating, right next to him, coming alone with a perfectly good body laying next to me. I shoot that down, as he may enjoy that and I feel he shouldn't be rewarded. So instead, I stew. I get pissed until I can't lie next to him for one more minute, and then I find myself here, typing out my anger to a silent machine. Not as productive as I had anticipated, since I'm still pissed and still horny. And now I can't sleep. Goddammit!!