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Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Morbid Anniversary

I know I hold some controversial views on crazy people. I believe I have a right to though. I was traumatized, molested and nearly raped by a paranoid schizophrenic who refused to take his medication. That would be my current father in law. One of my dearest, closest friends was brutally murdered by a paranoid schizophrenic who refused to take his medications. He was only 24, and the nicest man you would EVER meet. Today is the four year anniversary of his death.

I have this funny belief that its unfair to let ticking time bombs roam around society, able to kill at a moments notice because "the voices" told them to. They should be detained, and kept away from normal society. I say 'normal' loosely, meaning only those mentally capable of not doing stupid crazy shit all the time with a sickness as an excuse. In my utopian society, they would be no more. But don't mind me, I'm bitter.

Its crazy people that cost me my medicine career, not my laziness or indecision that I so often like to blame. I didn't/don't want to save a crazy person's life. I would sooner have them die beneath my hands than bring them back and let them loose to reek havoc. That sounds crazy doesn't it? But its true, and thankfully I realized my feelings before throwing myself into a hospital setting. Who am I to play God? These feelings of rage, the thought of being unable to treat a patient because of their mental illness, are unsettling. But its the truth, and I've laid it out for all to see. Does that make me a bad person? Perhaps not bad, but definetly bitter.

Today I dedicate my blog to Kevin, my friend who was killed four years ago today. Though, I'm sure he would have been shocked at the content of my blog, lol, I know he would appreciate the dedication.

Its a sad day, but I make it sad. I play the sad music, look at old pictures and letters. Perhaps saddest of all is reading the newspaper article describing his death. So sensless. What is so annoying, is that I know Kevin would have forgiven the dick that murdered him. Thats just how he was.

All my love, Kevin.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

5 Comments:

At Tuesday, August 17, 2004 9:58:00 AM, Blogger wilde_thought said...

A senseless loss made more unbarable by your experiences with mentally deranged people. I'm sorry that you've spent the last four years without your friend. My thoughts are with you today.

 
At Tuesday, August 17, 2004 1:03:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

You are alson in my thoughts today. I suffered through the murder of a good friend at the hands of a mentally disturbed stalker. And what added to the tragedy is that this occured at their place of work: a church kitchen. They thought he was 'healed' and aggreed to let him work again. He's currently in jail, thank God. It's a shame that senseless acts like this occur. Bless you, your friends, family, and anyone else touched by your tragedy.

 
At Tuesday, August 17, 2004 9:00:00 PM, Blogger Arthur Dent said...

I, too, am terribly sorry for your loss. That's a horrid story and I feel for you. My thoughts are with you (as always).

A.

 
At Wednesday, August 18, 2004 9:01:00 AM, Blogger Good Wife said...

I want to thank everyone who took the time to offer me comforting words when I needed them most. You have no idea how much that means to me, and I love you all for it.

Bethanie, it just makes me ill to hear of other people who've lost loved ones thanks to a crazy person, left to wander the streets until something happens. Its ridiculous. I'm sorry for your loss as well, and I'm sure you probably understand the complete shock and horror of the situation more than most.

Thank you again, dear friends. You've made a sad girl smile.

xoxo

 
At Wednesday, August 18, 2004 9:01:00 AM, Blogger Good Wife said...

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