I know I hold some controversial views on crazy people. I believe I have a right to though. I was traumatized, molested and nearly raped by a paranoid schizophrenic who refused to take his medication. That would be my current father in law. One of my dearest, closest friends was brutally murdered by a paranoid schizophrenic who refused to take his medications. He was only 24, and the nicest man you would EVER meet. Today is the four year anniversary of his death.
I have this funny belief that its unfair to let ticking time bombs roam around society, able to kill at a moments notice because "the voices" told them to. They should be detained, and kept away from normal society. I say 'normal' loosely, meaning only those mentally capable of not doing stupid crazy shit all the time with a sickness as an excuse. In my utopian society, they would be no more. But don't mind me, I'm bitter.
Its crazy people that cost me my medicine career, not my laziness or indecision that I so often like to blame. I didn't/don't want to save a crazy person's life. I would sooner have them die beneath my hands than bring them back and let them loose to reek havoc. That sounds crazy doesn't it? But its true, and thankfully I realized my feelings before throwing myself into a hospital setting. Who am I to play God? These feelings of rage, the thought of being unable to treat a patient because of their mental illness, are unsettling. But its the truth, and I've laid it out for all to see. Does that make me a bad person? Perhaps not bad, but definetly bitter.
Today I dedicate my blog to Kevin, my friend who was killed four years ago today. Though, I'm sure he would have been shocked at the content of my blog, lol, I know he would appreciate the dedication.
Its a sad day, but I make it sad. I play the sad music, look at old pictures and letters. Perhaps saddest of all is reading the newspaper article describing his death. So sensless. What is so annoying, is that I know Kevin would have forgiven the dick that murdered him. Thats just how he was.
All my love, Kevin.