Dildo For Sale-Gently Used

Over the weekend, we made a few stops to a couple of garage sales as we ran errands. One particular sale will be etched in my memory forever.

It seemed like any other yard sale. Table of outdated clothes, impulse buys still in the boxes they came in, having never been opened. There were excercise gadgets and rusty tools. And a box full of sex toys.

A very large, black dildo was the main attraction in the box, complete with crusty layer of..... It was startling enough that these people had such a box on display, let alone the fact that they would even consider trying to sell USED toys. Add the yellowed film covering the items in the box and you have officially reached the puke factor.

There was also a large tube of lube, half squeezed out with dried gobs clinging to the cap. It was sure to be a steal at only twenty five cents.

There were fuzzy handcuffs, missing most of the fur, dildos in every color and shape imaginable, and even a sprinkling of cock rings that had long hairs tangled in them.

My eyes sought out the host of the garage sale, eager to see the sick deviant that had such a putrid collection on parade. What I saw was a little old lady, sitting in her rocking chair near the porch, sipping tea and smiling as her customers filed up the driveway, oblivious to the horror they would be soon to witness.

As I walked past her, headed back to my car, I could have swore I heard a mechanic buzzing coming from her. A vibrating bullet? Or imagination gone astray? I wonder if the exhibitionist granny sold any of her 'collection' that day...