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Thursday, August 05, 2004

Sexless Since Conception

I was having a conversation with Denise, a very close friend of mine last night. She is a very...dominant person. Her husband, Dave, is submissive to a point where he appears scared to death of her at times. There is only way of doing things, and that is Denise's way.

Anyway, Denise is currently six months pregnant. They had problems conceiving, due to ovarian cysts among other things. In describing their rocky road to pregnancy, she related a story to me, of when Dave had to give a sperm sample, checking his status of fertility. "It was disgusting! They didn't have a special room or anything, so he had to use a bathroom and it wasn't working. Eventually I had to... *whispering* go in and ....ahem...help him." I was amused that she found it necessary to whisper. By the expression on her face, you would have guessed she was describing the most vile, disgusting thing she had ever witnessed. Perhaps in her opinion she was.

"I couldn't even look at him while I was doing it. It was so...gross. I told him, 'Now you better make sure you can catch it all in the cup. Don't you dare spill it or get any on me!' We were in there forever! I thought he was never going to....you know."

I can't believe he wasn't bursting with excitement, what with all her kind encouraging words.

"I told him that I would never be doing that again."

His test showed nothing of concern, Denise was put on fertility drugs, and they quickly became pregnant soon after. Yesterday she confided this, "Me and Dave haven't had...*whispering* sex since I got pregnant. *laughing* I don't care though, I got what I want! *laughing*"

I was surprised, but not shocked at what she said. I know she had had terrible morning sickness for the first three months. But that ended three months ago. Was sex to her only for conception? Surely Dave must be...well, horny as hell. Is he really so scared of her, that he is afraid to ask for what is rightfully his? Perplexing.

Maybe I was just lucky, or maybe I truly am a nympho, but my sex life never slowed when I was pregnant. If anything, it picked up, with rather high intensity. Yes, I was slightly nauseous in the beginning, but only ever got sick twice throughout my entire nine months. I took very well to being pregnant, and seemed to crave sex more than ever, coming more easily and with heightened intensity. Rick and I were both working overnight at the time and would often have sex before going to bed in the morning and again upon waking in the afternoon or evening. There was no fear of an unintended pregnancy, so Rick always came inside of me, which of course was more pleasurable to both of us.

Once I went on maternity leave, Rick would come home during his lunch hour while I was blissfully sleeping. I would be awakened by him licking my pussy before he inserted his dick. A quick hard fuck and a kiss goodbye. This happened nearly daily, and led to pleasant dreams afterwards.

Once the baby was born, literally hours later, I was desperatly horny. I knew that sex, the way we knew it, was weeks away. 6 weeks, to be exact, time for the episiotomy to heal and for things to go back to normal. Every book I read, everyone's friendly unsolicited advice, told me that I would not miss the sex. That I would appreciate the break on top of not having time to even think of such things. "Don't worry, you won't have time to miss sex with a new baby!" They were wrong. There was nothing wrong with me. I loved my baby more than anything I had previously known. But I missed the closeness that sex brought between my husband and me.

Our first night home from the hospital, as the baby slept blissfully in the bassinet, I gave Rick a blowjob. He acted shocked, surely expecting a sexless nun of a wife for the next month and a half. I couldn't help it. I had to feel the closeness. I didn't masturbate, or have sex until I was released from my doctor, but I gave Rick regular oral sex, knowing that if for whatever reason he were to be out of comission for any amount of time, that he would do the same for me. Normally, if I'm turned on enough, I can come just by him playing with my breasts, licking and nibbling the nipples as he kneads the meaty flesh. Breastfeeding took that away, but I was still content with our arrangement. Sex is part of what makes me feel like a woman, and there is no reason that anything should take that away from me.

That being said, I can't help but wonder what went wrong with Denise and Dave. I know I'm an exception to the rule, but shouldn't there be some sort of primal urge to fuck her husband? Why doesn't he just say something? Its been six months! I don't think Rick and I would be as close as we are, if we didn't regularly make love. At this rate, they won't be having sex until Denise decides she wants to get pregnant again. No wonder men get angry and frustrated. Its unsettling how disturbed she seems to be with all things sexual. If she had any idea what my sex life was like, I think she would faint. Dave would appreciate it though. lol


At Thursday, August 05, 2004 9:42:00 AM, Blogger Q.N.I.T.Y said...

I was taught that sex with a pregnant woman was endangering the unborn baby...Damn those teachers at school.

At Thursday, August 05, 2004 11:13:00 AM, Blogger Good Wife said...

Really? Thats very interesting. Unless its a high risk pregnancy, sex is completely safe right up until labor starts or the water breaks.

Another common myth is that you will be harming the baby by the actual thrusts, possibly causing brain damage. Again not so, as the placenta is filled with amniotic fluid which cushions the fetus.

One last, more comical myth is that the baby can actually see the penis coming at its head, thus scarring the child for life. Not possible, but a funny image no less! lol


At Thursday, August 05, 2004 12:38:00 PM, Blogger wilde_thought said...

Pregnancy hormones made my wife a raging nympho the first two tri-mesters. The last few months she was so big that anything we tried was uncomfortable. Yea, the doctors sure have changed their stance on things. A cousin of my wife's was past her due date. As the second week went by she was begging for sex from her husband just to try and induce labor.

As for Denise and Dave, I know of far too many marriages like that. Unfortunately it is not uncommmon.

The sperm donation story is hysterical. Goodness can you imagine what Dave had to experience just to get Denise pregnant? "Dave, are you done? No, don't pull out yet. Give it a moment. OK, now you can get off of me. Now wipe that thing and don't get jizz on the new sheets." Dave might not mind foregoing that with his wife. THE HAND NEVER TALKS BACK. :-)

At Thursday, August 05, 2004 12:58:00 PM, Blogger Libby said...

That’s funny, I was thinking along similar lines the other day after a conversation with one of my younger sisters. She was complaining that her boyfriend wanted sex all the time, while she’d be just as happy if they never had sex again. I was shocked; though she’s never really come to talk to me about sex the way our youngest sister has, I’d always figured that she just preferred to keep that part of her life private. We talked more, and I found out that, at the age of 21, she’d never even had an orgasm. So, what happened? All three of us have the same genes, were raised the same way, and got the same sex talk as kids. Why is one of us so repressed? Hmm.

At Thursday, August 05, 2004 1:45:00 PM, Blogger Good Wife said...

LOL wilde_thought. I was just laying outside, getting some sun (when Santa came to visit, but more on that later!), when I suddenly burst out in laughter. How funny it would be, if one of the frustrated-no-sex-husband blogs that I read or stumble across would be from Dave! lol And I tend to think that from the looks of things, you probably quite accuratly described the conception of their baby! Poor Dave!

Libby, that is very interesting about your sister. 21 and never had an orgasm? Wow. I think she may change her mind on sex once she experiences one, don't you? Although, I have a 22 year old sister who practically covers her ears at the mere mention of sex in a conversation. I doubt highly that she has had an orgasm either, but as I said, theres really no talking about it with her. Funny how one family can have such an array of different attitudes!


At Thursday, August 05, 2004 3:00:00 PM, Blogger wilde_thought said...

Funny you should talk about women who don't have orgasms. I just blogged last night about an old girlfriend who in her lat twenties had never had an orgasm. Everyone is built slightly different. Even sisters. The same thing doesn't work for everyone. But I do believe everyone can experience an orgasm as long as everything is intact down there.

Got to say that over half of the women I ever dated had had a sexually traumatic experience at some point in their life - child molestation, date rape, stranger rape, etc. I'm surprised that more women haven't given up on sex altogether.

At Thursday, August 05, 2004 3:10:00 PM, Blogger Good Wife said...

Its a sad truth, that such a large majority of women have been sexually abused at some point in their life. I, along with about 80% of my girlfriends are in that category. Never thought I would be, but life goes on and I'm obviously no worse for wear. Just goes to show that boys suck! lol Not really, only the yucky ones. ;0)

Its funny, once you have your first orgasm, you finally know what does it and therefore know how to achieve it. It only gets easier from there. And, my, how much better sex was once that mystery was solved!


At Thursday, August 05, 2004 5:42:00 PM, Blogger Phin Samuels said...

I feel sorry for thst guy. He must be a terribly frustrated man. When the wife was pregnant, the sex was incredible. She was a raging nympho. We sex the day before my son was born. It took her a while to get back to her to where thing were before we had the kid. Now there are peaks and valleys.

I think that a dominant woman and a submissive man is automatically distant from one another. No guy likes hie wife bossing him around.


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