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Tuesday, September 07, 2004


Do you care? I mean, really, tell me honestly. How do you feel when your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend masturbates? Does it bother you? How do you feel about it? It seems like women get hurt, and men get turned on. lol Am I right? Also, do you generally even know if your other half practices self love, and if so, how do you know? I wonder if the responses will match the stereotype.....You guys tend to surprise me every now and then... :) Posted by Hello

47 Comments:

At Tuesday, September 07, 2004 8:07:00 PM, Blogger its life jim, but not as we know it said...

I know for a fact that the Other Half does not practice, and never has practiced, self love (either that or she hides it REALLY well). When I have asked her about it she says she never really thought about doing it, just had cold showers.

I have asked her in the past to do it a little for me and she has done so once for my benefit, but was asking ME for instructions!

 
At Tuesday, September 07, 2004 8:24:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

lol, GW. I love your questions sometimes! I masterbate, why shouldn't he be able to? Actually, and I'm not sure who many women are on the same page I am, but I find it really exciting to watch a guy masterbate. It gets me going! lol, or else I'm just a freak...but no one has really complained yet. Hmmm...lol
:-)

 
At Tuesday, September 07, 2004 8:49:00 PM, Blogger wilde_thought said...

None of the women in any of my serious relationships have ever masturbated. At least they never told me; and believe me, I did ask. (The other relationships never lasted long enough for me to get to that question.) It wouldn't bother me if they did. We all have urges that have to be met.

The problem would arise if they perfered their hand or their toys over me in the bedroom. If I hadn't been getting action because they liked self stimulation over me, then the relationship wouldn't last long. As long as I'm getting attention I wouldn't care if they gave themselves attention or not.

I have had female friends who've told me about satisfying themselves when their boyfriends weren't around. I've also heard them discuss their sexual partner's act of choking the chicken when they weren't there to help with the deed. Guess I really don't see a problem with masturbation with either sex as long as the partner isn't abandoned in exchange. I must have come of age with a progressive group of men and women.

Good Wife, does the question come up because Ricky is still whacking off when you're nearby and wouldn't mind the shagging? You should really discuss it with him in the open and not hint around about your throw pillows get dirty. You've brought this topic up several times in your blog and it must be affecting you. You will not know the answer until you ask him directly.

 
At Tuesday, September 07, 2004 9:06:00 PM, Blogger rdturpin said...

I didn't miss this one, Good Wife. ;-)

Do I care if she masturbates? Well, it depends. Ours is a rather interesting situation, so my answer's probably a little different than most. We can't be together all of the time - and she's a sex freak - so I don't mind if she engages in a little self-love while we're separated. And yes, I know about it, because she tells me all about it. She's a rather open person, as you can perhaps tell.

Thus far, she hasn't had the need to do that when we've actually been able to see each other. If she's doing that because I can't please her, then I have a problem. Not necessarily with her doing it but with my own sorry ass for not being able to please her.

 
At Tuesday, September 07, 2004 9:43:00 PM, Blogger & said...

I get turned on when my wife masturbates. She's somewhat indifferent when I do. You pretty much hit the nail on the head.

 
At Tuesday, September 07, 2004 10:32:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, so yes, as a guy I would be thrilled if my wife did self-pleasure every once in a while. My reason is that I have been trying for years to get her to loosen up a little and to get to know her own body, if only to help me to know what turns her on and gets her motor going. She is complicated, and I still struggle with knowing where it is best to tickle her. - Logical

http://www.indecentblogging.com/blog.php?user=logical

 
At Tuesday, September 07, 2004 11:05:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I found out my wife did it, I'd be extremely hurt. But I guess I'm a special case - I'd want to know why in the world she'd need to do that, when I'm right where ready and willing, anytime, anywhere.

B.

 
At Tuesday, September 07, 2004 11:18:00 PM, Blogger its life jim, but not as we know it said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 12:02:00 AM, Blogger rolandog said...

Well, Goodwife... I don't really know for sure why do people masturbate, when they have someone to share the love with.

Right now, I don't have another half to share the love with, so self love is perhaps for now an option not to discard.

I'll say I'm lucky when I find a wife that finds sex as fun (yay) as I know it can be. I wish people were more open minded over here.

*sigh*

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 12:12:00 AM, Blogger Kis Lee said...

I'm a chick, and my boyfriend has never masturbated in front of me. Neither have I. Never. Now that I think of it, is that odd? I usually reserve that activity for my alone time.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 12:35:00 AM, Blogger dangerouspenguin said...

Doesn't bother me at all. And yes, I know that he does it (and pretty much how often) and he knows that I do it (and pretty much how often). Sometimes I'll tell him that I'm going upstairs to rub one out, and not to follow. I LIKE masterbating, and I like doing it alone. Its nice to be totally free from someone else's pleasure and to focus on myself. The boy sees it as a physical necessity, which I understand too. I wouldn't want to have sex as often as he feels compelled to masterbate.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 8:57:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have NEVER touched myself in an unpure way, and I hope you aren't implying that you are your husband have done that. That is a sin against Jesus Christ OUr Lord. Has anyone told you how to get to heaven? You are on the wrong track here, its sad. You are Satan's pawn, wrangling in married men and women, making them, forcing them to have impure thoughts and feelings. How would you feel if you knew that someone read your smut and then touched themselves before our Lord? Or cheated on theri spouse, because of the seed of evil you have planted. Satan is working through you, inspiring impure sex between married couples. This is evil. Do you know that only your husband is to see you naked? And you show yourself to all who stumble here? For what? Because Satan wants the men and women who read this sight and lust over you, and do impure things, inspired by your writing and photos. Why do you allow such evil??? Only prayer can save you. Satan won't let go of your lustful soul without prayer. Hes only afraid of God. These men reading your site will begin to expect sex from you. Thats what you advertise, and they will come to collect. Thats what Satan does to lustful whores. Then what? How many children will be born out of sin? Their souls doomed by Satan, the ruler of your lustful life. Sex with the mouth and the rectum are forbidden. They are works of Satan. Why does he rule your life so? When did you become possesed? Profess your love to God through abstinence. You don't deserve to bring another child into this world. Only to be eaten up by Satan. You must give up your lustful behaviour to cleanse yourself before God. I pray for God to make your womb forever barren. Show him your love and stop Satan. Its a good life without him. You need to see that.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 11:15:00 AM, Blogger Alex said...

Male or Female, it doesn't matter. If the masturbation robs you of a chance for sex when you want it with your partner, then it's appropriate to feel cheated. If your partner is less excited than they normally would be, it's difficult to attribute the lower enthusiam to one specific thing like having already had an orgasm recently. That is, unless there's evidence like a helplessly ravaged sticky pillow. ;-)

For those who are libidnally challenged (or have too many seemingly more important things swirling around in their heads to think about sex much), self pleasure can put one in the right frame of mind as long as it's not done so close to the real thing that it detracts, decreases interest or creates indifference. Getting in the mood isn't as easy for some people as it may be for others. For example, just that highly erotic picture puts me in the mood, but it may not do much for others.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 1:18:00 PM, Blogger Alex said...

It's been 2 hours since I first posted this comment and it hasn't shown up yet so I will try again, risking a double take, so to speak.

Male or Female, it doesn't matter. If the masturbation robs you of a chance for sex when you want it with your partner, then it's appropriate to feel cheated. If your partner is less excited than they normally would be, it's difficult to attribute the lower enthusiasm to one specific thing like having already had an orgasm recently. That is, unless there's evidence like a helplessly ravaged sticky pillow. ;-)

For those who are libidnally challenged (or have too many seemingly more important things swirling around in their heads to think about sex much), self pleasure can put one in the right frame of mind as long as it's NOT done so close to the real thing that it detracts, decreases interest or creates indifference. Getting in the mood isn't as easy for some people as it may be for others. Personally, I prefer to be with those in the 'others' category...

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 1:27:00 PM, Blogger FireResQGuru said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 1:29:00 PM, Blogger FireResQGuru said...

Well..... I guess I fit the stereotype then. I personally have never had a negative reaction the few times I witnessed a girlfriend masturbate. In fact, on the rare occasion that it happened, it was during an intimate encounter, and I had to prompt her to do it. There is something very, very sexy and beautiful about watching a woman pleasure herself. I have never walked in and caught a girlfriend in the act..... if I did I think I would probably be just as turned on. I know many people would feel angry at this situation, like "aren't they getting satisfied by me in the relationship that that they feel the need to do this?". In my opinion, that's a load of Buffalo Chips! Sometimes.... you just feel the need.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 1:30:00 PM, Blogger FireResQGuru said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 3:19:00 PM, Blogger Algor Langeaux said...

On the off chance that you are actually looking for input on this one... I did a blog entry on it back in February:

http://algor_langeaux.blogspot.com/archives/2004_02_08_algor_langeaux_archive.html#107633406442185370

(would make it a proper link but blogger usually manages to screw that up... sorry)

I would also encourage you to take my poll on Cunnilingus if you like:

http://65.31.199.63/poll/index.html

Your input would be much appreciated...

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 3:43:00 PM, Blogger StuckForNow said...

I love your questions GW.. Unfortunately in my situation I can't give you a good answer. I know my wife doesn’t which is to bad because that might prove there is some life down there. Ironic she did get upset when I told her during a argument one time that I was getting tired of taking care of myself…go figure.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 3:46:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It seems strange to me that none of the comments thus far have made the point that maybe masturbation and sex with a partner are different desires. Everyone seems to think it's the same thing, and that's fine, but not my experience. Personally, even when I'm single (like, now), I don't want a partner if what I want is self-love, and vice-versa. It's just a different thing for me, though there's certainly a lot of overlap.

That said, I really didn't mind that my last girlfriend liked to masturbate. Good for her, I would worry somewhat if she didn't. It doesn't seem weird that a partner would want to, but it would be weird if I were to be replaced entirely with hand or object or whatever.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 4:29:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My ex-girlfriend and I sometimes used to spontaneously start masturbating in front of each other before sex. We both got really turned on by it. I used to love seeing and hearing her in pleasure as she touched herself so sensually. She clearly didn't mind me masturbating, since she used to encourage me to masturbate whenever I needed release but she wasn't in the mood.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 4:39:00 PM, Blogger Mike said...

You remember high school algebra when the teacher would draw a circle within a circle, label the inner circle 'A' and the outer circle 'B' and then say "All A's are B's, but not all B's are A's?

Well it's the same with masturbation. Sometimes masturbation can be a replacement for lack of sex, or it can be done for its own sake. Just thought I'd throw that it, because algebra is just so damn sexy.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 5:06:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the person writing Anonymously ref masterbation and religion, if you're still reading this sight, are you not just as big of a sinner as the rest of us? Masterbation is not unpure, and it's not sinful. It's only natural. Back in Biblical times, yes they said it was a sin, but why? because back in those days, children died at birth, got deadly diseases and the likes. Nowadays, we have cures for all that, plus we're overpopulated anyways, so I'm sure God doesn't show displeasure for a little bit of tugging or frolicking in the garden of love from time to time...

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 5:28:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

To watch a beautiful woman pleasure herself is a magnificent thing.
To see my wife do it, would be a stinking miracle.
Dick
www.matureindividual.blogspot.com

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 5:44:00 PM, Blogger M.N. said...

Holly shit! 24 comments! You're becoming a celebrity good wife. Maria is cool when I masturbate, which I have to give her props for. My ex was grossed out whenever I touched my little friend below the waist. Maria even admits to getting turned on by seeing me handle my hard shaft :)

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 6:03:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The question answered is, yes I the "other" good wife does engage in self pleasuring, probably more than I actually have sex with my husband a week. My husband, since I work during the day and the kids is gone to school has relayed to me that he does too, probably more often than I get to on a per week basis. Our sex life is absolutely the best, when we have it, and neither of us mind if the other do so when we are not physically able to help. A few times in our fifteen years having sex (dating & marriage), he would tell me that he masterbated the morning after we had the most mind blowing sex the night before, I felt horrible! He though reassured me that yes I was right, we did have planet rocking duel orgasm sex, and he was just so sexually driven, he had to relive the event again.

Now for feedback, there is nothing wrong with you that he turns to beating off as to being with you, you sound like you are great in bed, so why not engage yourself?? Maybe one night when you "catch" him, say oh that makes me want to do that myself, wanna watch each other? Have selfish sex together, but don't expect him to always turn to you to get off, sometimes it is so much easier to just release the beast and get a good nights rest!

Remember, don't take it as a self esteem blow when he does this, he doesn't intend to hurt you by doing this, it sounds as if you two are greatly in love.

Something that hubby and I did after a few years of the lulls, is begin a date night, we crunched our pennies to just hire the sitters and we went out for a few hours of reconnection time, lots of time to talk about the weeks events, the kids (minimally since it is/was about US) and we reconnect as a couple. Talk about perking up both of us, I felt really upbeat about our marriage, and the small stuff I sweated over, such as not meeting his needs, went all away, we really reconnect! Try it!

Keep on writing, I absolutly love it!

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 6:32:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've never understood why someone's feelings would be hurt by a lover's masturbation, unless the solo act has supplanted sex together. It's lovely to have dinner together, but what's the harm in grabbing a sandwich for lunch.

I love to watch my husband (or anyone, really) masturbate, although he rarely does in front of me. I get myself off nearly every day, without detracting from our couple sex life at all, because my need for orgasms is exponentially greater than his. No harm done.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 7:06:00 PM, Blogger FireResQGuru said...

Ok, I had to post another comment, even if no one actually reads it. This is directed to the anonymous, narrow-minded knucklehead spouting their "all knowing, hollier than thou" religious attitude and nonsense - You are a complete freakin' moron! First of all..... God created us in His image. Or did you forget that from your Sunday school class? Therefore, anything we do, he has already done. Now - that's a mind-blower for ya, huh????? God getting off? Now, second - I don't know where you get off calling Good Wife a whore. You are so far off base, it's not even funny, in fact - it's down right infuriating! You should be ashamed of yourself! How dare you judge someone else? As I recall from my Roman Catholic upbringing and Bible study, there was a little verse that went something like; "Don't ye judge, lest ye be judged yourself" Or did you forget that one, too?

Good Wife is a wonderful, faithful, loving wife and mother. I wish her many more children if she so desires them. You wishing her barren is really the evil sentiment here. I'm no choir boy, not a religious fanatic such as you portray yourself to be, and I am not afraid to be judged based on who and what I am - therefore I have no problem telling you to BITE ME!

Oh, yeah - if you can't make a nice post on Good Wife's blog....... then go spew your non-sensical buffalo chips elsewhere.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 7:37:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my God! How in the hell, did I miss that Bozo's comment?
Hey Zippy, swing by my place. You'll just love me!
Good Wife, it's blog fodder just like that moron that gives me stuff to write about. You're going to have to do a little cut-n-paste and reply to that genius. It'll be priceless.
Dick
www.matureindividual.blogspot.com

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 7:37:00 PM, Blogger Halley said...

Bother me?! Why?! I'm a woman who loves mastrubation and especially loves this comment:

My ex-girlfriend and I sometimes used to spontaneously start masturbating in front of each other before sex. We both got really turned on by it. I used to love seeing and hearing her in pleasure as she touched herself so sensually. She clearly didn't mind me masturbating, since she used to encourage me to masturbate whenever I needed release but she wasn't in the mood.I love watching my lover masturbate and I figure it turns him on to watch me.

If you're doing it as a little "show" you can tell hot stories about what you're doing -- and mostly, I'm fantasizing about him, so all these distinctions about whether this is critical of his technique or something, or which is "real" or "better" -- sex or self-sex -- are lost on me. Sexual play and erotic pleasures are so much more broadly defined for me.

If I'm stroking myself, and he's there, I'm thinking about HIM most likely and getting off on simply seeing him. I'm also definately getting off on getting HIM off and imagining him stroking me.

Equally, I love mutual mastrubation. And how about whispering in your lover's ear while he mastrubates about other women being there with the two of you and give him a play-by-play. Use your imagination folks!

It's honestly hotter and more intimate for one person to let the other just sit there and watch them go all the way than simple sex. The person getting off is very open and vulnerable showing their sexuality so boldly. I think it's very sexy. I love when men show me what they like to do to get themselves off -- very healthy, I think, and delightful to watch all their gorgeous parts straining, rising, falling, shooting, finally collapsing into a total release.

And do I love to read sexy magazines in bed with my lover -- yes sir!

BTW, Baccus at Erosblog -- thanks for this link.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 8:11:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, Halley, but that was actually my new permanent guest blogger Aphrodite who linked over here. ;-)

-- Bacchus from ErosBlog

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 8:18:00 PM, Blogger dangerouspenguin said...

Wow. You better watch out for Satan, GW. As well as the rest of us. I masterbated after reading all those sexy comments, so now your responsible for my soul I guess.

What I forgot to mention is this: I've also noted your references to Ricky masterbating beside you in bed, and I wouldn't be cool with that. If The Boy told me that he felt like jerking off and asked if I wanted to watch I'd be (and have been) thrilled and wet within seconds, doing the same to myself. But if we were lying in bed together and it started to rock back and forth because he was going at it suruptitiously under the sheets, I'd think that was weird. Physical needs must be met, but emotional needs must be met as well. If he wants to get off without my participation I would ask that he do it privately so that I'm not forced to feel inadequate/unattractive/unwanted or whatever.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 8:57:00 PM, Blogger EllingtonFan said...

Several points:

1) "You remember high school algebra when the teacher would draw a circle within a circle, label the inner circle 'A' and the outer circle 'B' and then say "All A's are B's, but not all B's are A's?" -- This is called a Venn Diagram.

2) If you are interested in people's facial expressions as they mastUrbate, take a look at http://www.beautifulagony.com

3) If you are interested in seeing erect cocks as their owners mastUrbate, check out http://www.sensations4women.com/mastUrbate/gifs/index.html

4) For those with an activist sensibility: http://www.mastUrbateforpeace.com

5) Do I think people should spell "masturbate" correctly? Yes. They should also read "Eats, Shoots & Leaves."

6) I think I will write a book about masturbating and call it "Beats, Shoots, & Leaves."

7) Most importantly, my GF and I masturbate ALL THE GODDAM TIME. We do it alone, we do it together, we do it before sex, we do it in the middle of sex, we do it while we watch dirty movies (alone or together), we go shopping for toys with which to masturbate, we watch each other use the toys, etc. She gets totally turned on watching/hearing me, and ditto for me watching/hearing her. The only thing is, she's starting to complain about needing stronger eyeglasses due to her encroaching blindness and I swear I don't remember having this much hair growing on my hands. Look - jacking/jilling off is fun! People should do it more! Please feel free to respond.

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 9:05:00 PM, Blogger Nefertari said...

I guess if he did it a lot and we were not having sex, I would be bugged. Or if I wasn't getting as much sex as I needed/wanted. The thing is, sex on your own is different than sex with someone else. Think about the reasons why you might masturbate. I do it because I can focus on the end and not the process. I read somewhere that both men and women, on average, can bring themselves to orgasm in 4 minutes, but that it takes much longer when they are with someone else. (Women especially.) I get the feeling that you haven't yet talked to Rick about this issue. Would it make you feel better if he did it in front of you? Could you make it a part of your sex play? Could you just find an article about it or something and then use it to bring up the topic?

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 9:34:00 PM, Blogger Tuna Girl said...

Masturbation is good for the soul. It's all good.

Wow, did you get some comments, huh?

My husband is such a mysterious masturbator. It cracks me up. I know he does it, I just don't know when or where. He's stealthy. I'm not stealthy at all. ;-)

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 9:43:00 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Although GW is most gracious to those who are kind enough to give advice, she's really doing very well on her own.

Thanks to EllingtonFan for the
Beautiful Agony site
. I am tempted to subscribe. I’d like to see a more full bodied view of what's going on...

I just gotta tell you about one woman I knew. She preferred masturbation and giving me oral sex to intercourse but wouldn’t let me give her oral. I felt guilty for being such a lazy lover with her, but that’s the way she wanted it. She was the most highly skilled woman I’ve ever known at doing the right things to bring me to orgasm and ejaculate. She wanted me to cum on her stomach, on her tits, into her mouth, all over and anyplace. She was nicely obsessed with wanting to see gushing loads of cum. Needless to say I really enjoyed being with this woman.

One time she wanted me to shoot off into her mouth and I ended up spraying some drops into her hair. After we were together she had to go to a department store. When she got there, a sales clerk in the store commented on how she loved what she had done with her hair. She looked in the mirror and saw that there were all these places in her hair where the cum drops had dried to create random curls and she just died laughing. She thought about saying something to the clerk about how she used her boyfriend’s sperm in her hair to create the effect, but was laughing too hard to say anything. :-)

 
At Wednesday, September 08, 2004 10:53:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, GW. Women generally will object to her partner's "jacking off"; men usually become excited by it. Here's why, a simple matter of supply and demand.

If a woman masturbates and excites her partner, no problem; she's often ready for even more, so her masturbation becomes just another phase of foreplay, especially if I help. :-)

But when a man does it (especially us old farts) he's likely to be out of action for an hour or more, and ready for a nap.

Anything sexual that is "in addition to" in a good relationship is good; anything that is "instead of" is usually detrimental.

 
At Thursday, September 09, 2004 1:46:00 AM, Blogger Lil said...

As long as I'm not feeling sexually neglected by my boyfriend, I don't care if he masturbates. There's even been the rare time when he wants a climax and I'm not in the mood for fooling around, that I'll snuggle & kiss him while he takes matters into his own hand (so to speak). As for how I know, I just ask and he tells me (and I tell him how often I've pleasured myself, if he asks). If I want to fool around and he's not in the mood because he took care of it himself earlier, he'll also tell me, but at those times he's willing to do whatever I ask that will pleasure me (with hands, mouth, toys, whatever). Neither of us thinks of it as a "substitute" for mutual sex, but more of just something to take the edge of when the other isn't available (we work opposite shifts) or isn't in the mood. I've found that the more I have sex (alone or with a partner) the more I want it - up to a point, anyway...usually 7-10 sessions a week (combining alone and with a partner) is my max. However, guys have a definite limit as to how often they can get it up!

 
At Thursday, September 09, 2004 2:39:00 AM, Blogger Patrick H. said...

I'm new to Blogger, and therefore uncertain if my commentary here will be welcome or not, but here goes. If it's unwelcome, delete it and I'll bear no hard feelings.

First of all, to the holy rolling little twit who can't attach his or her own name, I could go on for pages about your narrow-minded bigotry, but that's mostly been addressed already, so why whip a dead horse? What I WILL say is this. That Bible you're thumping at us never says anywhere that it's a sin, mortal or otherwise, to beat your meat or fondle the folds, but it DOES remind us that if you are ashamed of Jesus (and your anonymity would seem to indicate this in spades) then He will be ashamed of you at the gates of Heaven, and will testify to God that He doesn't know you. Get your mangy narrow-minded ass out of the Dark Ages, already, willya? Canya say hallelujah, bruddah? Hay-men.

Now, on to the masturbatory post. Medical evidence lately suggests that masturbation is indeed healthy, especially in men, since it recycles sperm and keeps the little wigglers fresh in there. This is not unlike the benefits involved in donating blood, since your body learns to reproduce fresh cells, which can be awfully helpful if you're ever injured, for instance. (Boring, huh? So sue me!)

Furthermore, I personally don't have a beef with my lady pleasuring herself with or without me being there, and she feels likewise. It's a do-it-yourself orgasm, and hardly tantamount to rejection or infidelity, is it? I had a girlfriend once who had a real problem about me ever masturbating, and I came to the conclusion that the problem was hers and not mine. She was insecure about a truckload of issues, and resides firmly in my past. The masturbation thing was just another brick in a big wall, though.

I'd far and away rather be in a relationship like the one I have now, where we can be open about whatever pleases us sexually, alone or as a pair, than to have to masturbate in private like I did as a boy of 12, when I was insecure about my newfound sexuality and was pretty certain I was the world's one and only pervert. IMHO, if you have a problem with your partner masturbating, it's your problem, not your partner's, and it's a good idea if you just get over your insecurity and be glad your partner is sexually healthy, as well as emotionally secure enough to be open with you about it. There's my two cents and a nickel extra just for good measure.

 
At Thursday, September 09, 2004 2:41:00 AM, Blogger Patrick H. said...

I'm new to Blogger, and therefore uncertain if my commentary here will be welcome or not, but here goes. If it's unwelcome, delete it and I'll bear no hard feelings.

First of all, to the holy rolling little twit who can't attach his or her own name, I could go on for pages about your narrow-minded bigotry, but that's mostly been addressed already, so why whip a dead horse? What I WILL say is this. That Bible you're thumping at us never says anywhere that it's a sin, mortal or otherwise, to beat your meat or fondle the folds, but it DOES remind us that if you are ashamed of Jesus (and your anonymity would seem to indicate this in spades) then He will be ashamed of you at the gates of Heaven, and will testify to God that He doesn't know you. Get your mangy narrow-minded ass out of the Dark Ages, already, willya? Canya say hallelujah, bruddah? Hay-men.

Now, on to the masturbatory post. Medical evidence lately suggests that masturbation is indeed healthy, especially in men, since it recycles sperm and keeps the little wigglers fresh in there. This is not unlike the benefits involved in donating blood, since your body learns to reproduce fresh cells, which can be awfully helpful if you're ever injured, for instance. (Boring, huh? So sue me!)

Furthermore, I personally don't have a beef with my lady pleasuring herself with or without me being there, and she feels likewise. It's a do-it-yourself orgasm, and hardly tantamount to rejection or infidelity, is it? I had a girlfriend once who had a real problem about me ever masturbating, and I came to the conclusion that the problem was hers and not mine. She was insecure about a truckload of issues, and resides firmly in my past. The masturbation thing was just another brick in a big wall, though.

I'd far and away rather be in a relationship like the one I have now, where we can be open about whatever pleases us sexually, alone or as a pair, than to have to masturbate in private like I did as a boy of 12, when I was insecure about my newfound sexuality and was pretty certain I was the world's one and only pervert. IMHO, if you have a problem with your partner masturbating, it's your problem, not your partner's, and it's a good idea if you just get over your insecurity and be glad your partner is sexually healthy, as well as emotionally secure enough to be open with you about it. There's my two cents and a nickel extra just for good measure.

 
At Thursday, September 09, 2004 3:32:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It doesn't really bother me if my husband masturbates; sometimes it arouses me. BUT, he doesn't neglect me sexually. I think if I was feeling frustrated and undesired (and undesirable) it would definitly cause me to have issues with him masturbating.
I've incorporated masturbation into sex before..the way I learned some of the best techniques to use with fellatio was by watching my lover masturbate. I don't know if that's going to work for everyone though, not everyone is going to be comfortable doing it in front of another person. Anyway, GW.. I can only suggest talking to your husband about your frustration, and see if he's willing to talk about why he's choosing to masturbate, but not to have sex with you. Have you two been having a rough time lately? If I'm angry or resentful with my husband, I really don't get in the mood easily (or at all), but that passes once the anger issues are resolved. I hope it works out for you both.
Oh, as for the person who wrote in with the long pseudo-christian rant.. If you were serious, I hope you find a spiritual path which helps you learn tolerance and respect for your fellow man. Christ did not teach hatred. I cannot conceive of ever hearing him say someone didn't "deserve" to have a child. That kind of thinking is the work of Satan, not masturbation. I guess it's likely you posted to try and get a lot of attention,in which case you succeeded. The pediatrician said something about negative attention being better than none at all...

 
At Thursday, September 09, 2004 5:32:00 AM, Blogger Beastie said...

I stumbled on this blog from another site... I doubt very much that my wife does at all, she'd have to have a lot more interest in sex than she does. On my side, the more sex I get the more I want, the more I end up doing it, but its never stopped me from being interested in the real thing. Its always more fun to have a partner than not.

 
At Thursday, September 09, 2004 6:01:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi I thought that I would like to add my own experience to your site.
I had discovered that my husband was having solo sex and was using a vibrator in secret. It is a very long story and his behaviour changed towards me with reduced sexual intimacy. I have had to beg for explanations then receive what I now know as further lies. I have never deigned him, I have no aversion to blow jobs or hand jobs and in fact I really do enjoy sex.
I then discovered a pair of silky thong pants hidden with the toy and
they were not mine. Eventually I challenged him again and his
explanation was hard to accept. I suppose most of the time I
felt OK but then I could never get my head around him apparently acting out these things in the disabled toilet where he worked, I kept thinking someone will discover him. Other things did not seem to make sense either.
I was absolutely devastated by my discoveries and not because I have anything against masturbation. I wanted to be needed for my husband’s sexual pleasure. To me it was a sign of personal failure if whilst going about ones life you see unaccountable changes in the man you love and have had a great sex and intimacy with almost every night to maybe once a month.
Suspicions run rife, what would he need condoms for; he must be having sex with someone else, as he doesn't need condoms with me. When you find toys hidden, we had a whole box full of toys. But
the hidden toys are for him and he didn't share. When challenged he
made excuses all relating to his needs and not mine, although I am
here and have never denied him.
The worry about the panties whose were they. If as he said they were his and his reason for having them was to see what it felt like to wear ladies underwear, I never understood because he has worn mine before. He now says that he has finished with all that but I still think he continues.
Although things are getting much better and maybe back to good times again I do get these sightings in my mind of him at play and then I panic.

Take care
DXBB

 
At Thursday, September 09, 2004 9:23:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I felt sorry for myself because I had no girlfriend,
until I met a man who had no hands...

triticale

 
At Friday, September 10, 2004 10:36:00 PM, Blogger Nina said...

No, I don't care. I'm glad that he's comfortable enough to do it in front of me. I couldn't imagine going through an entire marriage sneaking off to go masturbate because you're too embarrassed. But I don't like it when he does it in the morning when I'm sleeping and wiggles the bed.

 
At Sunday, September 12, 2004 1:45:00 PM, Blogger English said...

I don't have a problem with it. The only time I did was when my old girlfriend would masterbate before I got in to bed. Then she wouldn't be interested in sex with me. Yeah, the relationship didn't last long after that!

 
At Tuesday, August 07, 2007 12:56:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I laugh and laugh at the people who don't understand a joke (ie. the Bible anon poster).

Seriously people. Read it and have a laugh at how rediculous it is. Save your worldly opinions for those who preach that sort of thing for real.

 

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