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Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Evil Lives Here

*BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*

I was rudely awoken this morning to an obnoxious beeping coming from just outside my bedroom door. 

*BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*

I knew what it was.  The stupid smoke detector, whos battery was supposedly changed last week by Rick.  Either an incredibly shitty battery or my husband's laziness interrupted my slumber.  "Try to ignore it", I tell myself.  "Think happy thoughts", as my sleepy eyes close, and I begin to think that perhaps...

*BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*

"GODDAMNIT!"  I throw back the sheets, looking at the baby monitor for signs of the baby being awake.  If hes up, then I wouldn't have been able to get any more sleep anyway.  Nothing.  I turn the volume up, expecting to hear him rustling around his room, but instead I hear baby snores.  So I can't blame my lack of sleep on him.

*BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*

Determined to go back to bed, I decide that if I simply remove the weak battery from the smoke detector, then the beeping will stop and I can go back to bed.  Thats why its beeping isn't it?  I can barely reach the stupid thing, and so I have no idea how it comes apart.  My first thought is to just rip it from the wall.  My second thought reminds me that its an electrical/battery combo, and that being electricuted probably sucks. 

*BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*

I notice a pin sticking out of the side and pull it out.  Okay.  I decide to twist the casing.  So far so good.  I can see where I need to get into to get the battery out.  I flip open the little door, and out pops the battery.  Feeling rather proud of myself, I toss the battery on the dressor as I hop into bed, getting comfortable and ready for my reward nap.

*BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*

You have got to be kidding me!  I took the damn battery out!  What the hell else does it want?!  Throwing back the covers once again, I head to the source of my aggravation.  "You stupid piece of shit," I spit at it, giving a venomous glare.  I had no clue what to do, how to shut it up. 

*BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*

In my frustration, I suppose I tugged at it too hard, as it came out of the wall and into my hand.  "Well," I say "At least now we'll have some peace and quiet."  I set it down on the hall table and headed back to the bed room, satisfied that I could at least lie down and have a moment of silence before starting the day.  Before I made it into the bed room, I heard it.

*BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*

Its possesed!  It must be!  This smoke detector has an evil spirit residing in it!  IT WON"T DIE!!! 

*BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*

I wrapped it up in a towel and hid it in the back of the closet for now.  Perhaps Rick can perform an excorcism later tonight when he gets home.  When its quiet enough, and the tv is off, you can still hear it, taunting me. 

*BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*     *BEEP*


At Tuesday, July 27, 2004 2:58:00 PM, Blogger Chuck said...

Damn...how annoying was that? Did you ever get it figured out?

On another note, I have been trying to respond to your email for the past few minutes and each time I get an undeliverable message....wtf??


At Tuesday, July 27, 2004 4:37:00 PM, Blogger Good Wife said...

No clue. I'll have to call Rick on his mobile and have him pick up some holy water on the way home. ;0)


At Tuesday, July 27, 2004 5:20:00 PM, Blogger Chas said...

That sounds very much like this episode of Friends. Pheobe couldn't get the fire alarm to stop beeping, takes the batteries out, eventually hits it with a hammer, won't stop, wraps it in a blanket and throws it down the garbage shute...only to have a fireman (I think) bring it back to her and tell her it's dangerous to throw away your smoke detector. Very funny.

At Tuesday, July 27, 2004 7:41:00 PM, Blogger Good Wife said...

My sister brought that up when I was telling my mom about the demonic smoke detector. I wonder how Phoebe got hers to stop... Rick was unimpressed to find the thing ripped from the wall. That, and he wasn't as amazed by my story of the undying beep, as I would have expected him to be. Oh well. What are you gonna do, right?

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