I'll let you in on a little secret...
I'm a very healthy person. I excercise daily, I don't eat junk food, I rarely drink, and I don't smoke. Well, I used to smoke.
It was about three years ago when I got a batch of what I thought were bad cigarettes. Everything about them, the smell, the taste, the sight made me sick. Dizzy and nauseas. I even tried switching brands, to no avail. It was strange. I couldn't be anywhere remotely close to cigarette smoke without feeling two steps from death. About a week later, I found out why they made me so ill. I was pregnant.
Funny how my body didn't let me smoke when I shouldn't. Kind of impressive, actually.
After our son was born, I was left home alone during the day to recooperate from the birth, take care of the baby, do the regular house chores and pack up our house for the upcoming move. Saying I was stressed would be an understatement. I bought a pack of cigarettes and that was it. They helped me keep my sanity, and once the pack was empty, I was again done with smoking.
Fast foward to present day. Rick is working his ass off doing twelve hour shifts six days a week at work and training for a new position in the company that would give him a nearly fifteen thousand dollar a year raise. He is less than cordial when he gets home from work, crabby, tired and wondering whether or not hes going to get this promotion. Add to that the fact that we started the ever so fun chore of potty training our two and a half year old on Sunday, which by the way is not going well.
Its stressful over here these days. And I gave in and bought a pack of cigarettes.
My last post , which has brought me all the cheating wife accusation emails I was expecting, was not about a former lover. There was no man in that post at all. My affair was with a cigarette.
Clever? Maybe?
I expected that everyone would read it as an affair with a man. I was shocked when the first comment I got about it saw right through my 'smoke screen'. Heres that first comment from Bob:
"Is this a riddle? You've hidden behind your house to have a cigarette, right? Naughty girl! "
Needless to say, my jaw dropped when I read that. lol I quickly erased it, to see if I had underestimated my readers or worse, overestimated my writing skills. ;)
One other person hinted at understanding the post:
At 6:01 PM, Carrie said…
HHhhhmmmm... Good wife.. I've had that type of fleeting wonderful affair with some warm rich wonderful Cappucino. Really shouldnt have it.. so bad for me.. but so warming and fulfilling to all my senses. Geez lady, this could be a man or any one of a woman's loves in her life.. Chocolate, Coffee, A corndog from the vendor. You're good.
No, you're good. You and Bob both. Good on ya!
Now that you know the truth behind the post, it reads a bit different, doesn't it? :)
But if you'd rather imagine it as an amorous affair with some hot stud, then you go right ahead. I wouldn't blame you!
6 Comments:
Let me just clarify here, that I would NEVER buy, much less use a used sex toy. ICKY! lol
Good thinking K! And thanks for not letting on so others could gauge a guess.
xoxo
no problem...
i loved !!
the post.
Good Wife, what other secret pleasures do you hide from the world? Do you ever drop items into the grocery carts of unsuspecting shoppers just to see their reaction at check-out to find MADEMOISELLE and a bottle of hand lotion there? Take the last piece of chocolate cake for yourself and tell everyone that you gave it to eight year old nephew? Place a set of BillyBob Teeth in your mouth and chat up the leering mailman to watch his stomach turn? Please divulge.
You got me...... although I didn't think it was an affair, I thought it was your usual Hump Day erotica - Boy! Don't I feel stupid! lol
hahah...excellent. :)
but, please don't smoke....Dr's orders ;)
Wt, if I divulge all my secrets, what ever will I post about tomorrow? You'll just have to stay tuned...
Rich, lol, Yes, doctor! ;)
xoxo
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