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Friday, October 15, 2004

Dr Seuss

*As adapted from Green Eggs & Ham*

That Silly Doof!
That Silly Doof!
I do not like that
Silly Doof!

Do you like Dr Seuss?

I do not like him,
Silly Doof.
I do not like Dr Seuss.

Would you like him here of there?

I would not like him
here or there.
I would not like him
anywhere.
I do not like
Dr Seuss.
I do not like him,
Silly Doof.

Would you like him
in a house?
Would you like him
with a mouse?

I do not like him
in a house.
I do not like him
with a mouse.
I do not like him
here or there.
I do not like him
anywhere.
I do not like
Dr Seuss.
I do not like him,
Silly Doof.

Would you like him
in a box?
Would you like him
with a fox?

Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not like him here or there.
I would not like him anywhere.
I would not like Dr Seuss.
I do not like him,
Silly Doof.

*******

So, in case you haven't gathered, I don't like Dr Seuss. My childhood was riddled with Seuss induced nightmares of grinches and whosits and whatever he called those scary creatures he imagined and that were forced down my throat as a young girl. My mom thought he was just wonderful, and recorded all the Seuss cartoons and bought all the books, exposing us to his psychodelic hellish creations. The man wasn't right.

Rick knows how much Dr Seuss scares me. Yes, he still does creep me out even now. So imagine my response when he came back from the library with our son, arms filled with Dr Seuss.

Bastard.

And I swear to God, I had a Seuss induced nightmare last night. Even from beyond the grave, this man's sick 'art' is reigning terror upon me.

Damn you Dr Seuss.







12 Comments:

At Friday, October 15, 2004 10:47:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still enjoy his work to this day and I wish I was blessed with that ability.
Dick
www.matureindividual.blogspot.com

 
At Friday, October 15, 2004 12:04:00 PM, Blogger & said...

I have to go with The GW on this one. While I didn't get the nightmares, it's pretty clear this guy was taking some serious medication when he dreamed this stuff up. On occassion, one of my kids will pull out a Dr. Seuss book for our evening reading ritual. It makes me want to blow my brains out. I usually end up drooling and babbling incoherently by the time I'm finished.

 
At Friday, October 15, 2004 12:33:00 PM, Blogger Phin Samuels said...

I was never afraid of Seuss, but I could never get into him. I didn't understand the love he was getting. Parent sometimes impress that stuff on their kids. My son has a Dr. Seuss book that he rarely touches because no one forced it down his throat.

 
At Friday, October 15, 2004 12:53:00 PM, Blogger Patrick H. said...

I guess I'm GW's exact opposite. My mom wouldn't get us Dr. Seuss, and I always loved him. I know y'all might be shocked by this, but I love poetry and wordplay, to say nothing of quirkiness, so he's right up my alley.

I even wrote a part of a BDSM epic poem that was in a Seussy style ... LOL

Outthere,
--P--

 
At Friday, October 15, 2004 2:13:00 PM, Blogger Mr. Waterhouse said...

Good Wife,

Not that you need my literary support here, but...

you have it. I frankly don't understand the veneration here.

M.

 
At Friday, October 15, 2004 2:25:00 PM, Blogger wilde_thought said...

The man who was Dr. Seuss was a complicated man. Did you know that he drew political cartoons before he became the famed Dr. Seus? Pick up almost any of his children's books and you'll see metaphor upon metaphor heaped in there that's not for a child's consumption. One or two star geeches (sp?), which is better? Did you know his (in)famous first book THE CAT IN THE HAT nearly wasn't published? The publisher felt the story a little too sinister.

Yes. I can see why you and others don't like his children's books. Scratch the surface and you will see commentary on the chaos and irrationality of mankind. Green Eggs and Ham, indeed! (LOL ;-)]

Which children's books do you like, Good Wife?

 
At Friday, October 15, 2004 7:38:00 PM, Blogger dangerouspenguin said...

I love Dr. Seuss GW, but I harbour an irration hatred for Big Bird. He creeped me out as a kid, and he creeps me out as an adult. Somebody bought be Sesame Street sheets when I was little, and I always slept poorly when they were on my bed. Being a very stoic kid I never mentioned it to my mom, but I always used to ask her for the plain coloured ones. One day she asked if I was too grown up for sesame street (I was probably 6 or so) and I told her that I thought I was, very sternly. It wasn't until a couple of years ago that she knew the truth about me and those sheets. I know another girl who feels the same about the incredible hulk, and she almost had the fits last year when the movie came out and he was everywhere.

 
At Friday, October 15, 2004 9:31:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my god, I COMPLETELY understand you Good Wife, The Grinch TERRIFIES ME. I remember a few years back when they made the movie with Jim Carrey I took my younger cousin to see it at the theatre and I spent the first 15 mins hiding behind my fingers near tears. Damn Dr. Seuss, his work haunts me to this very day.
*Shudders*
-Elizabeth

 
At Saturday, October 16, 2004 1:18:00 PM, Blogger Craz4acop7 said...

I have two small daughters and am VERY selective of what I allow them to read/watch..etc. Here goes: I love ELMO, but hate Burt and Earnie, Oscar, and the Count. I tolerate Big Bird. I don't allow them to watch SpongeBob, or CatDog, or Arnold. They watch Dragon Tales, Clifford, Arthur, and Franklin. Dr. Seuss is scary as hell. There are only one or two books that he wrote that I find acceptable. Yurtle the Turtle is pretty much okay. Everything else scares the pee out of me and I'm about to be 25. LOL! :)

 
At Saturday, October 16, 2004 3:23:00 PM, Blogger Ms. Bolla said...

That's too bad that you don't enjoy Seuss. I think he is (was) brilliant. The Lorax comes to mind - a book an environmental harm, way before it's time. And his paintings - not those book illustrations, but I like them too - are amazing. And those toungue twisters! I love reading them to my 4 year old.

But to each their own. World would be boring if we all had the same tastes.

Do you like Robert Munsch?

 
At Saturday, October 16, 2004 8:12:00 PM, Blogger Good Wife said...

Its nice to know I'm not the only one who is creeped out by all things Seuss! lol

I'm not familiar with Robert Munsch, but upon a search, albeit a quick one, it looks like he probably has some excellent books under his belt. Is he someone you recommend?

I love the follow up questions WT always has waiting for me. :)

I grew up enjoying Little Critter, Berenstein Bears and lots of classic children's stories. We also had the luxury of a children's book of the month club, so we were exposed to uncountable authors and stories. I was more excited to get books than to recieve toys. But I digress.

Now, I like to read classic Pooh tales, Little Critter Books, Berenstein Bears, and of course, we also get a new shipment of books each month, carrying on my childhood tradition.

Rick and I both love to read, and at 6 months, our son was already bringing us books and turning the pages for us. His favorite place to go these days is the library, which is fine as long as Seuss doesn't catch a ride home with him!

I also vividly recall reading Pinochhio when I was about 11. Not the happy Disney version, mind you, but the one where he smashes 'Jiminy' Cricket against the wall, sits too close to the fire and burns his leg off, among other disturbing things. Quite a wake up call. lol My demented mind enjoyed the change though, no matter how depraved the story was.

xoxo

 
At Sunday, October 17, 2004 4:21:00 PM, Blogger wilde_thought said...

I never got into the Bernstein Bears as a kid. My books of their's were hand me downs that smelled of ass from being used during potty training. And their brown color reminded me of the color of poop. Didn't care for the pictures at all.

Now GO DOG GO, now there's a book. Loved the pictures of the three dogs having a party on the row boat, and of course the Dog Party in the big tree. "Where are they going? To the Tree. To the Tree. To the big tree. And what will they do when they get there? Will they work there? Will they sleep there? No, it's a dog party. A big dog party!" Man did that author know how to build expense.

He also knew fashion. Do you like my hat? Yes. Yes, I like that party hat.

 

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