Ugh
Denise asked to join me on my early morning shopping trip on Friday. I asked if she intended to have Dave stay at home and babysit, to which she replied, 'yes'. Today I get this email:
"sounds good, we will have the escort thogh, that way dave has the car seat, but we might stop by the house once the stores open, because dave want's to go with us. And i don't trust him with emily by himself for hours, he has a very hard time changing diapers. lol. I've got coffee, and i've got french vanilla, and chocolate creamer to put in it if your interrested. what time do you want me to pick you up? where do you get the adds, there wasn't anything in the sunday paper? I can't wait. I just thought, dave could sit in the car with emily, while we wait in line, or better yet, we can sit in the car with emily, and he can freeze his ass off. lol. he was really upset when i asked him to stay home. he's a wierd man, he loves to shop. anyway, let me know and ill be there."
Okay, first and foremost, the spelling and punctuation!! Ow! It drives me absolutely insane to see an email so poorly put together. I feel like grabbing for the red pen and correcting it all before I can get to the second point that aggravates the hell out of me.
This shopping trip was supposed to be girls only. No husbands, no kids, just us. I don't want to be crammed in her little car with her desperate husband and four week old cranky baby from the wee hours of the morning until God knows when. I know, I'm a party pooper.
And what man wants to throw himself in the middle of the craziest shopping day of the year? I mean, seriously. Is she kidding me? He wants to go shopping. I don't think so.
It also bothers me when she says that she doesn't trust Dave to stay at home and watch their baby by himself. I had no problem trusting Rick. Granted, things were done differently than I would have done them, but men aren't stupid, and I'm quite positive he would be capable of babysitting for a few hours.
Now I need to decide how to tackle this problem. Right now I'm just mostly annoyed at her bait and switch technique. I don't think I'll tell her about the super cool Target wake up call. Its a severe punishment, but we can't have her repeating this type of behavior. lol
Note: Denise has no trouble reading/writing, and does not have a learning disability. Of course, I would be sensitive to such a situation, and never would have griped about it. She is just lazy in her emails, and that is what drives me insane. Also, I love Denise like a sister, and am always perplexed when someone misinterprets our relationship for a sour one.
This morning, as I discussed this situation with my mom, she too brought up the risk factor for bringing the baby out in the crowds. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it, but that seems the obvious reason not to take her out. Thanks for all who suggested this very reason. Good on ya.
Also, as I said before, I am certain that Dave is perfectly capable of caring for his own child. It irritates me that she would suggest otherwise.
Sounds like I could have some excellent company shopping, if only I lived near any of you lovely ladies who offered! lol Just leave the kids and hubbies at home please! :)
Thanks for all the advice! I'll let you guys know what I finally end up doing.
posted by Good Wife @ 5:33 PM
10 Comments:
A man who likes to shop but can't be trusted to change a diaper ? I smell a rat ! No men like to shop. There may be something else going on here.......
GW - Here's your solution: (and as the mother of two very small children I am dead serious) our pediatrician HIGHLY recommended that we not take our newborn babies out of the house (aka...into large stores where there would be lots of people and germs...even to church) until they were over 8 weeks old. By the time they are 2 months old, thier immune system is equivalent in strength to that of an adult. Suggest to her that it is unsafe and potentially fatally dangerous to take such a young baby out into large crowds in the middle of what is promising to be a nasty cold and flu season. That way you come off as being concerned about her child's health rather than a bitchy shopper not wanting to be stuck with her rugrats! ;) As for Dave...if he can wipe his own butt..surely he can wipe one he can actually see! :)
I have to be honest and tell you that I am a little disappointed in your last post. I know I don’t know you apart from reading your blog, but I didn’t take you to be the kind of person who’d be so negative toward a friend.
I was wondering if your friend has any trouble with reading/writing, maybe a learning disability. I know what it is like to have a learning disability (fortunately a mild one) and I know how difficult it can be to spell and use the proper grammar! I feel relieved when typing with friends b/c I figure they love me for me and not for perfect spelling and grammar. I can relax b/c I feel like I am not being judged. Sometimes it’s hard knowing you have a great thing to say, and such a hard time expressing it.
I do agree in that it would be annoying to have a friend who just smoothed out the situation by trying to throw in a little humor and a coffee and creamer bribe rather than asking if it would be okay if the baby and husband came along. On top of this, she did it through an email! If this isn’t the modality in which you two typically communicate, then she was definitely taking the sissy’s way out b/c she doesn’t have to hear your response. My advice is to be honest with her and tell her you were disappointed when you heard that she wants the man and the baby to come along too b/c you expected it to be you two girls. If you really don’t want her to repeat this behavior, you’ll have to confront the behavior openly.
Sometimes I think almost every wife on the planet does not trust the kids with their dad. We may do things a bit differently, like maybe use twice as many (okay five times as many) wet wipes to clean a nasty diaper, but hey the diaper gets cleaned! :)
sooooooooooo
not cool
this breaks every girlfriend rule out there
i am going to target and a few others...i think they open at 6.
i'll pick you up at 5:15.
(time for a bagel and coffee...and standing in line)
Ditch the dysfunctional dictionary-deprived darling and come shopping with me, GW. Think of the fun...
Hmmm. Um...okay, yeah. It's a little scary. Nevermind.
Happy Thanksgiving anyway, GW!
Ack! OMG, that spelling was KILLING me.
You definitely need to lay the smack down...I might even give her a wham-bam, 3 attack punch:
a) call her on pulling the old switcheroo (how you were excited about it being just the girls, etc, etc)
b) taking the baby out is definitely a bad idea into that environment (and the girl above was incorrect...babies aren't really at adult-strength immunity until about 10 months or so. It takes about 6 months to prepare the immune system for each antigen. And the newborn only has the limited supply of antibodies from the mom and/or a little extra IgA if mom is nursing. Baby has to be exposed to antigens in order to generate it's own antibodies, and every day after birth there are less and less of mom's defenses lying around (they last around 6 months)...so the closer you get to 6 mos, the fewer antibodies the baby has)
c) If Dave doesn't know how to change a diaper, it's high time he learned, and this is as good a chance as any.
As far as Dave liking to go shopping...surely she made that up. This is the same couple that only has sex to procreate, right?
Humm, tricky. From my experience in dealing with children as a teacher, having backup is a definate advantage as a bloke, which is why Dave might be pretending to 'want' to go shopping.
However, as a mother you must follow your protective instinct. What is more valuable - a friend and one shopping trip or the safety of your offspring? I realise that this is a bit extreme and potentially paranoid, but you must go with your head and the instincts that drive it. Weigh up all the facts and make a decision you feel comfortable with. 'Trust' is such a fundamental attribute when it comes to children.
Mr B
Sorry I got int on this conversation late. First off, he's just being nice and is following the wife's lead. No guy wants to go out on Black Friday unless it's to Best Buy or Home Depot. Even then he'll stroll into the place about nine or ten a.m. Second, your friend is a control freak with the business about not leaving her daughter with her husband. Damn it woman! Guys can take care of babies. Third, you're right about not wanting to be stuck with an infant and a grumpy hubby at five in the morning. Good luck with getting out of doing it with Mrs. Bad Grammar.
Ugh is right.
Blame the spelling bees or something, but I still can't stand to see spelling and grammar horrendously abused.
Don't even get me started on the whole text messaging as standard typing crap.
Blah, blah, everyone's right about babies in public at such an early age, more blah, let Dad take care of baby for GOD'S SAKE it's not like he'll never have to learn to change a diaper! If she was using cloth, then I'd really want to be a fly on the wall, but it's still humanly possible. Give me a break.
Do let us know what you end up doing. I'm horribly curious.
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